My marriage cramped my style. Is that what marriage does? It was so confining, so restrictive. I know that in theory marriage is not like that. I am a strong willed person with a large variety of interests. I am also intelligent, capable and interesting (and I am not bad looking either) - these qualities make me quite attractive to men, however, I have yet to meet a man who is intelligent, capable and strong enough in himself to be able to be in a relationship with me and not cramp my style. A man who doesn't mind being challenged, and who can handle digging into himself in order to be a strong support of a relationship.
As it happens, right now, I am into me. I am into doing all the things that I want to do. And I don't want to do anything for a relationship simply because I *have to*, or because I made a commitment and before God saying I would. I don't resent the years I spent in my marriage, but I also don't have any desire for an encore performance.
I am enjoying being single and observing myself, the things I like to do, my passions, my moods, taking care of myself, learning about how I respond to men, how they respond to me - and at the same time, not interested in a "big-R-relationship".
It is such a relief to clearly say, in words and in my actions, I like being alone. I'm happy just being me.
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