One thing I find myself looking back on a lot, and this is a good thing, I believe, is the course of the relationship. Were there clues along the way to indicate its current statet? Did I miss things? Would I do it differently now?
I find myself realizing that I didn't "fully investigate his character". I believed that we would both put in the same ardour into making our marriage work as I knew that I was prepared to do. And therein is my mistake. Trust in God, not in people. I ought to have checked out my facts of how we would approach problems before jumping into marriage with him. it was my responsibility to fully investigate reality.
I also realize 5 years later, that we are actually not really compatible. This is not to say that we cannot create a happy, fulfilling marriage, but that it will require much more work. These are concepts which I understood when we were getting hitched but perhaps on an abstract, intuitive level rather than a practical, experiential level.
Of course this is not to say that our marriage was doomed, it takes two. I did my part, to the best of my knowledge, did he do his? I don't know. Only God can judge.
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