Paradox

Could my life get any better? I feel so happy now.
I have done some pretty risky things in my life. I didn't really take anything seriously. The only thing that used to really trip me up was relationships. That's likely where all my major learning and growth came from. At present, relationships don't trip me up as they used to, I have more detachment to them. And I also take other things more seriously, therefore growth can occur in a more proportional way.
There is this line is a prayer "protect me from violent tests". By being mindful, one is protected, by having fear of God one sees the test when it is subtle and learns, rather than needing to continue a pattern until a test manifests violently. Does that make sense? Or how does that fit with the idea of powerlessness? Perhaps really it is nothing to do with the person and their spiritual sensitivity, perhaps it is just God's will - but, one's spiritual sensitivity is bestowed by God as well.
A dear friend said that in his opinion the paradox comes from us thinking that our will and God's will are somehow equatable, when in fact they are totally not. I should just stop thinking about this. I'm not going to get an answer.
Suffice it to say, praise be to God for protecting me from violent tests!
I had a dream a while back where I actually understood the relationship between my will and God's will. I was in a clearing in a forest and there were rocks and it was just me and it was being explained to me and I got it, and it made perfect sense, and when I awoke during the night, I remember thinking, "of course", but when I woke up in the morning, I had no idea what the explanation was, I simply remembered that it had been crystal clear to me. I think of a couple of things here, one is that perhaps in a spiritual level it is clear and it's just not something that can be grasped cognitively and secondly, it doesn't really fascinate me so much because I know that on some level I do understand it, and it is a moot point to my present condition.
I'm going horse back riding tomorrow for in the mountains. I am so excited!