Friends

I had such a lovely time with a friend of mine this evening. She is insightful, intuitive, compassionate, giving, open, caring and loving. I am so blessed to have close friends around me to support me emotionally during this time.
I feel so confused sometimes, I still feel very strongly towards this other guy. Emotionally, between my husband and myself things are lighter, there's more space - definitely an improvement in the dynamic. He's totally not interested, he claims, when I bring it up, that "that ship has sailed". Oh well. His choice, not mine. May Baha'u'llah guide him to the light.
The hard part is managing my emotions and interactions with this other guy. I never feel like what I am doing is inappropriate. I check to see if my husband was there, or if he wanted to come back would my commitment to him be compromised. And the answer is always no. But I still feel very emotional about the other guy. Like I want more of a deeper emotional friendship or connection. I am fascinated by him. I want to know him more. I guess the question is, can that exist between a man and a woman without it becoming romantic in some way? He's inexperienced emotionally this guy. He is insightful and aware too, and a quick learner. I am not sure he's interested in having a more meaningful, deeper emotional relationship. And at what point does that kind of relationship between a man and a woman become an emotional affair? Let's look it up. Ok, so, don't you just love the internet? Apparently an emotional affair is when you think about the friend of the opposite sex more than your partner, can imagine touching them, share intimate details with them. Hmmm. Sounds to me like this is an emotional affair.
The guidance in the Writings is that it's beyond the bounds of propriety to start to date in a spirit of courtship during the YOW, and that faithfulness in marriage implies absolute chastity before marriage and absolute faithfulness in word and deed after marriage to one's chosen marriage companion. Therefore, it would appear that as long as I am not talking about loving this person with him, or doing any inappropriate actions with him, that I am still conforming to Baha'i Teachings, during the YOW, would it not?
My yard stick is always that if my husband were to want to work on the marriage this second, then for me, that would be the best thing. No matter how strongly I feel about this other person, it would not be enough to even make me blink if I could have my marriage and my husband back.
The above definition of an emotional affair implies that the person's spouse is interested in having an emotional relationship with them and that they are simply running away from it and getting their needs met elsewhere. That is what makes it problematic and wrong. However, it seems to me, that in this case, as my husband walked out on me, is shacked up with another woman, wants nothing to do with the marriage or working on it, that it's quite normal for my emotional needs to be met in other relationships.