Ring

I finally did it. I wrote to the House of Justice to ask what exactly I am expected to be doing during this YOW seeing as my husband is basically married to another woman (at least it's common-law at this point). It doesn't make sense to my small mind that I would be expected to still wait and remain prayerful. Maybe I am. And if I am, great! I'm all for following the Laws and doing what I'm supposed to be dong. I just wonder what that is right now.
I miss this other guy. There is nothing going on. I still miss him. It doesn't make sense to me what makes my feelings for him so strong.
Dastam begir, 'Abdu'l-Baha.
This YOW gives me nun-like status. I am off-limits to men. I can be a bride of God. The only love I can have for men is spiritual. I can develop my love for the Bab, Baha'u'llah, 'Abdu'l-Baha and the illustrious historical figures of our Faith.
I still wear my wedding ring on my wedding ring finger. While I was married I didn't wear the last year. Due to weight gain from pregnancy and then protest to my husband. When we got married we bought this ring very quickly, and we said that we would get new ones. We never did, and I never forgot, but he kept trying to avoid the issue, so I finally stopped wearing it to mark my protest. He used to like to play with my wedding ring when we held hands. He'd bend his finger up and fiddle with the ring on my finger. For most of the YOW, so far, I didn't wear it either, I would occasionally put it on, when going to an event where I'd be likely to get hit on and then I'd remove it. What is making me wear it recently? I feel more attached to it. Maybe I am wearing it as a means of saying goodbye now. i don't want my marriage to be over. I looked at pictures from our early years with my preschooler the other day. I saw how much fun we had. Him walking away is an illusion. He's not seeing the truth of our relationship.
When I take off my ring it's over. I was thinking of having a little mourning ceremony to mark the end of my marriage once it's over. Maybe I'll bury my ring.